When real life meets dating

As adults over the age of 30 with children dating life is no longer about “a good time”. Where we used to have minimal things to consider, one day we rose with real needs, requirements and expectations. While this might prove to be a set up for failure, there is no denying that these things are important. I often wonder why people are willing to date a person whom does not share the same goals as themselves. For example, if you are an individual with morals, and you’re dating someone who does not value that, then………………….. Why even venture that option? If that person doesn’t mind being exclusive but never wants to get married and marriage is something you believe in, what’s the purpose? Sure, someone may come around but if not, someone is forced to settle therefore leaving room for resentment to eventually surface. Another important topic to consider is children. Is he or she able to have children, do they even want children and are there children already involved; if so, how will that situation unfold? With so much to consider, dating can be somewhat stressful. Do you forfeit what you want to accommodate, the next person or do you stand firm and be content with being alone until the “perfect person” shows up, assuming, they will? The truth of the matter is that we’re all different and our needs and wants may be similar but they are also particular to our unique situations. With that said, there will need to be room for compromise on some level, if we do anticipate a love relationship. Am I saying settle….. No but I am saying compromise. To settle is to become satisfied with less; to liquidate. To compromise means to bind by bargain or mutual agreement. Please note that many times when we consciously say that we’re settling, yet we are unhappy…… we have not really settled because if this were the case, we would be satisfied. It is my opinion that we were not placed here to settle for what another person wants, as their journey may not even begin to cross ours. And while few may share your journey there are some that travel right alongside of us. With these people compromise will be minimal and you don’t have to abandon your purpose to be with them. In the short time that I’ve been married, I’ve learned that marriage is a great challenge. However, if we paid more attention while dating, we could eliminate some of the issues prior to marriage. Patience is a virtue, but knowing what you want, who you are and your purpose in life, is half the battle. There are some things that can be compromised and others that cannot. It is our duty to stand firm on the things that make us, the person that we are granted that person is honorable. #AntiqueThoughts